Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Love Your Life: Embrace the Moment

What I really want to title this post is, "Love What You Got, While You've Got It, Because Things Will Eventually Change And You'll Find Something Else To Stress About."

The event that triggered such a long-winded title was nothing extraordinary. I was simply sitting in the car with Jake, alone, for the first time in what felt like months. The kids were with a babysitter and we were on our way to a youth group event. But we were alone, for the moment, and as I sat there, thoughts started to flitter through my head. Tears welled up in my eyes, which I hid from Jake because I felt silly crying in the car on a Sunday night for virtually no reason.

Why was I crying, you ask? Well, it was because I was desperately missing being a couple, just the two of us. I missed having the freedom to get in a car and drive somewhere without having to schedule a babysitter, write out bedtime routines and emergency numbers, lay out PJ's and night time diapers and wrestle away from two screaming toddlers just to get out the door.

I could not believe I'd spent years being immensely unhappy because we couldn't have children. Maybe you laugh to read this, but anyone who has dealt with infertility knows...you put having kids on such a pedestal, the reality of those children can't possibly live up to such lofty ideals!

There were so many trips we could have taken! So many last-minute, non-scheduled dates we could have gone on and truly enjoyed—if only I hadn't allowed myself to be so freaking miserable about stuff I had no control over. I was not in control of our fertility or the foster-to-adopt process—and it drove me crazy. I agonized and stressed and spent far too much time wallowing. And yes, I had plenty of valid emotions. We shouldn't pretend to be okay when things aren't okay.

But now, looking back, I can see how I could have found moments to be happy. Moments to enjoy being alone with my husband and relish the freedom we had. And that's the thing, we can all find something to be stressed about right now and something we think will alleviate that stress. "If only this particular circumstance would change," we tell ourselves. "Then I can be happy. Then life will be okay again."

But circumstances will always be changing and new challenges will always come. We ended up with two beautiful kids after six years of infertility struggles and adoption—but these two munchkins are a lot of hard work! Parenting two toddlers without family around to help is a draining experience, to say the very least.

What I'm coming to grips with is this: There's a difference between feeling things and letting those feelings overtake your every waking moment. Even in the midst of trying circumstances, there is joy to be found.

I'm very proud of the way I handled my miscarriage, for instance. That pregnancy, that baby, had taken almost two and a half years of effort and medical intervention. We were elated to be pregnant...and then I got that awful phone call and everything came crashing down. Our baby was gone.

And for some reason (namely, the Holy Spirit) I had the presence of mind to tell myself, "Feel what you need to feel, when you need to feel it." This meant that I didn't pretend. On Christmas Eve at church a friend asked me, "How are you?" And I didn't lie to her. I couldn't, at that point. I told her, "I'm not doing very well, actually. I had a miscarriage and I'm really sad." Which lead to my friend telling me about her three miscarriages and three healthy, grown kids and giving me a needed hug. For about a month I was sad and weepy when I needed to be and I didn't bullsh*&t people. I told them the truth. And when I had grieved, I was able to feel joy again. I was able to smile and laugh and be delighted when my friends told me they were expecting babies.

I felt my pain. I embraced it. And then I felt joy again.

Satan loves to rob us of this...he steals the joy. But God gives it back. He shows us the amazing moments even when life isn't so amazing. So really, no matter where you are in life, love it! It's gonna change, I promise you. And with those changes will come new highs and lows, new challenges and joys. Embrace the moment, feel what you need to feel, and try to find the spots where joy can infiltrate.

It's a lesson I'm learning moment by moment these days... - Melissa

19 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. DON,T IGNORE THIS WHAT AM ABOUT TO WRITE IS 100% REAL LIFE STORY THIS IS HOW I GOT MY HUSBAND BACK HOME TO ME WITH THE HELP OF A REAL AND GENUINE SPELL CASTER DR PETER CALL/WHATSAPP +1(321)754-0649

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    2. DON,T IGNORE THIS WHAT AM ABOUT TO WRITE IS 100% REAL LIFE STORY THIS IS HOW I GOT MY HUSBAND BACK HOME TO ME WITH THE HELP OF A REAL AND GENUINE SPELL CASTER DR PETER CALL/WHATSAPP +1(321)754-0649

      Hello Everyone my name is jaxson melanie from USA. donot ignore what am about to say because it is 100% real. I got married ten years ago to a caring husband we were blessed with two kids. We had the best home until my husband started behaving awkwardly. it was then i discovered that he was seeing another woman. our marriage moved from bad to worse until he eventually left the home living me with the kids. He took away my home and happiness. i had lived with sorrow, rejection and pain ever since then. on till a friend of my Linda tried to make me happy and stop me from crying and thinking too hard. it was then my friend introduced me to DR. PETER who helped when she had problems with her husband. she told me he could solve all marital and health problems. we contacted him online and i narrated my story to him. so he promised to help me do a love spell to help me get him back home to me. so after 24hours he was done with the spell and my husband called me on and told me that he is very sorry for all he has made me go through. now my husband is back home to me permanently. now my family is living happily together than ever before all thanks to DR. PETER who gave me back my home, happiness and joy. You can also contact him for your marital and health problem contact DR. PETER through his email address:
      MAGNIFICENTSPELLCAST@GMAIL.COM MAGNIFICENTSPELLCAST@YAHOO.COM or You can call/whatsapp him via
      +1(321)754-0649 or visit his website http://MAGNIFICENTSPELLCAST.website2.me or blog http://magnificentspellcast11.blogspot.com
      and get your problems solved 100% assured.

      Delete
  2. I NEED MY EX LOVER BACK Contact: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com ,Is certainly the best spell caster online, and his result is 100% guarantee. My Names is Julie Collins from United states.
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    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi every one i am Sharon Jordan and i am from USA, I had a fight with my husband about three years ago and since then he has refuse to talk to me or even care about our family affair he abandoned us and went after another woman leaving me with three kids two girls and a boy,so last weeks a friend of my introduced me to a spell caster called Dr.ken who helped me brought my husband back many thinks he is a scam but i promise you that he is nothing compare to that not even close so if you have some problems in having or getting your ex back you can contact the great and wonderful spell caster Dr. Ken in this address and he be willing to help you via: greatdrkenspelltemple@gmail.com
      Call or WhatsApp: +2348104557346

      Delete
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    ReplyDelete
  4. I NEED MY EX LOVER BACK Contact: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com ,Is certainly the best spell caster online, and his result is 100% guarantee. My Names is Julie Collins from United states.
    After 12years of marriage, me and my husband has been into one quarrel or the other until he finally left me and moved to California to be with another woman. I felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. i tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because i was really in love with my husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he would come back to me, I was really upset and i needed help, so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr Unity can help get ex back fast. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a (Love spell) for me. 28 hours later, my husband really called me and told me that he miss me and the kids so much, So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and the kids. Then from that day,our Marriage was now stronger than how it were before, All thanks to Dr Unity. he is so powerful and i decided to share my story on the internet that Dr.Unity real and powerful spell caster who i will always pray to live long to help his children in the time of trouble, if you are here and you need your Ex back or your husband moved to another woman, do not cry anymore, contact this powerful spell caster now. Here’s his contact: Email him at: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com , you can also call him or add him on Whats-app: +2348071622464 , you can also visit his website: https://urgentspell.blogspot.com .

    ReplyDelete
  5. I NEED MY EX LOVER BACK Contact: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com ,Is certainly the best spell caster online, and his result is 100% guarantee. My Names is Julie Collins from United states. After 12years of marriage, me and my husband has been into one quarrel or the other until he finally left me and moved to California to be with another woman. I felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. i tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because i was really in love with my husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he would come back to me, I was really upset and i needed help, so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr Unity can help get ex back fast. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a (Love spell) for me. 28 hours later, my husband really called me and told me that he miss me and the kids so much, So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and the kids. Then from that day,our Marriage was now stronger than how it were before, All thanks to Dr Unity. he is so powerful and i decided to share my story on the internet that Dr.Unity real and powerful spell caster who i will always pray to live long to help his children in the time of trouble, if you are here and you need your Ex back or your husband moved to another woman, do not cry anymore, contact this powerful spell caster now. Here’s his contact: Email him at: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com , you can also call him or add him on Whats-app: +2348071622464 , you can also visit his website: https://urgentspell.blogspot.com .

    ReplyDelete
  6. I must say 2016 & 2017 was the years of me trying so hard beyond many desperate measures to gain back love, trust and happiness from my better half after he left. After trying so hard beyond desperate measures to unite with my husband throughout the years, I became confused, frustrated for all the goals, hopes and ardent wishes of uniting my family. I thought maybe he is not really meant for me.
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    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi every one i am Sharon Jordan and i am from USA, I had a fight with my husband about three years ago and since then he has refuse to talk to me or even care about our family affair he abandoned us and went after another woman leaving me with three kids two girls and a boy,so last weeks a friend of my introduced me to a spell caster called Dr.ken who helped me brought my husband back many thinks he is a scam but i promise you that he is nothing compare to that not even close so if you have some problems in having or getting your ex back you can contact the great and wonderful spell caster Dr. Ken in this address and he be willing to help you via: greatdrkenspelltemple@gmail.com
      Call or WhatsApp: +2348104557346


      Hi every one i am Sharon Jordan and i am from USA, I had a fight with my husband about three years ago and since then he has refuse to talk to me or even care about our family affair he abandoned us and went after another woman leaving me with three kids two girls and a boy,so last weeks a friend of my introduced me to a spell caster called Dr.ken who helped me brought my husband back many thinks he is a scam but i promise you that he is nothing compare to that not even close so if you have some problems in having or getting your ex back you can contact the great and wonderful spell caster Dr. Ken in this address and he be willing to help you via: greatdrkenspelltemple@gmail.com
      Call or WhatsApp: +2348104557346

      Delete
  7. HOW TO GET YOUR EX LOVER BACK ASAP? CONTACT: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com ,is certainly the best spell caster online, and his result is 100% guarantee . I'm so excited my boyfriend is back after he left me for another girl. After 4 years of relationship with my boyfriend, he broke up me and brought in another Girl, i did all i could to get him back but all proved abortive, I was really upset and i needed help, so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr Unity can help get ex back fast. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a (Love spell) for me. 11 hours later, my boyfriend really called me and told me that he miss me so much, So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake, and for the pain he caused me . Then from that day, Our relationship was now stronger than how it were before, All thanks to Dr Unity. he is so powerful and i decided to share my story on the internet that Dr.Unity real and powerful spell caster who i will always pray to live long to help his children in the time of trouble, if you are here and you need your Ex back or your husband moved to another woman, do not cry anymore, contact this powerful spell caster now. Here’s his contact: Email him at: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com , you can also call him or add him on Whats-app: +2348071622464 , you can also visit his website: https://urgentspell.blogspot.com.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Things to know about Dr. Wakina!
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    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
  10. Not much to say concerning Dr. Wakina, we all know Dr. Wakina love spell is capable of resurrecting a dead-end relationship. This is just a simply thank you for bringing back my ex-wife after three years and four months of ongoing feud. His mysterious spell worked as testified by people he has helped, he saved my married just as promised. I will conclude by saying with Dr. spell you don’t need to fight anymore or go through pains just to save your marriage. His contact email is (dr.wakinalovetemple@gmail.com)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Save Your Relationship and Get Your Ex Boyfriend/Girlfriend Back!contact: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com is certainly the best spell caster online and his result is 100% guarantee.
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    Call/WhatsApp: +2348071622464 ,
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    ReplyDelete
  12. Hi every one i am Sharon Jordan and i am from USA, I had a fight with my husband about three years ago and since then he has refuse to talk to me or even care about our family affair he abandoned us and went after another woman leaving me with three kids two girls and a boy,so last weeks a friend of my introduced me to a spell caster called Dr.ken who helped me brought my husband back many thinks he is a scam but i promise you that he is nothing compare to that not even close so if you have some problems in having or getting your ex back you can contact the great and wonderful spell caster Dr. Ken in this address and he be willing to help you via: greatdrkenspelltemple@gmail.com
    Call or WhatsApp: +2348104557346

    ReplyDelete
  13. Somewhere along the way complacency, boredom, and resentment towards each other took hold of your marriage.check

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
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    My Name Olivia Stephen form Tx,USA. After 12years of marriage, me and my husband has been into one quarrel or the other until he finally left me and moved to California to be with another woman. I felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. i tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because i was really in love with my husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he would come back to me, I was really upset and i needed help, so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr Unity can help get ex back fast. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a Love spell for me. 28 hours later, my husband really called me and told me that he miss me and the kids so much, So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and the kids. Then from that day,our Marriage was now stronger than how it were before, All thanks to Dr Unity. he is so powerful and i decided to share my story on the internet that Dr.Unity is real and powerful spell caster who i will always pray to live long to help his children in the time of trouble, if you are here and you need love spell to Win your Man Back from another woman or Win your Boyfriend/girlfriend back forever. Do not cry anymore, contact this powerful spell caster now. Here’s his contact:
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    Website:https://unityspelltempleblog.wordpress.com

    ReplyDelete

Our goal of this blog is to share stories (both good and bad), thoughts and insights about our marriage and we would love for you to jump into the conversation.

The goal is to provide three things:
1) HOPE for struggling couples that they are not alone.
2) GROWTH in our marriages and our understanding of marriage.
3) ENCOURAGEMENT to keep loving your spouse unconditionally.