Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Travel and Marriage

Usually, the Kircher clan is a homebody type of tribe, but lately we've had a good deal of stuff going on. Between visiting friends and family, church events and some extra ministry commitments, life has been a bit more busy.

Which has lead me to this great pearl of wisdom: don't judge the state of your marriage while you're away from home. Seriously, it's like a three-ring circus when we head out into the wide open world. There's poop and food and crying (perpetrated by both parents and children) and screaming (ditto) and laughter and hugs and scraped knees and plans gone awry and more screaming and more poop. I always have this image in my head of what we SHOULD be like on our little adventures. Something a bit like this:

But instead, we look kinda like this:

I'm smiling but my grip is iron tight. I let go and they run opposite directions.

We're just batshit crazy right now, people. It's the time of life. There's nothing to do but endure and treasure the rare wondrous moments.

And you know what? Jake and I are pretty good. Dear sweet heavens, don't jinx me for saying that. But it's true. Our relationship is humming lately. It feels different, like new life breathed into it after a long, hard winter's nap. There are many reasons for this, which I'm sure we'll be diving into over the next couple of months.

But I tell you what, going anywhere almost instantly has us at odds. Our differences in thinking and planning and doing and (especially) parenting are heightened the second we step out of the door, like a giant spotlight from the universe shining down to illuminate every darn thing we don't agree upon.

A couple of years ago I would have noticed this and become VERY upset. Now, I'm too friggin' tired to get all worked up about a couple of arguments. I think this sheer exhaustion has peeled back a layer of the relationship onion, though, and allowed me to see that a couple of spats during travel and the disruption of the usual, daily routine do not a relationship make.

This is nice for me to realize. It feels safe. I like it. I like letting the brief, heated words scatter like sand blowing in the wind. We apologize, we learn some stuff and we come back home and dive back into regular life and everything is okay.

Until someone poops or screams, or something.


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Our goal of this blog is to share stories (both good and bad), thoughts and insights about our marriage and we would love for you to jump into the conversation.

The goal is to provide three things:
1) HOPE for struggling couples that they are not alone.
2) GROWTH in our marriages and our understanding of marriage.
3) ENCOURAGEMENT to keep loving your spouse unconditionally.