Thursday, January 24, 2013

What Does a Healthy Dating Relationship Look Like?

How can you tell if your current dating relationship is a healthy one? Or, if you are thinking about dating, what should you aim for within a relationship? Here are five thoughts about the factors that make a healthy dating relationship:

  1. We are all wonderful creations of God! When Jake dated a girl in high school, the first time he picked her up for a date he was met by her father who had a machette in his hands. He said he was weed whacking out back with it but we all know he wasn't. The foundation of any healthy dating relationship needs to be the idea that we are all created in God's image and looked at as His sons and daughters. Therefore, we should be honored, respected and treated in a way that lives this fact out.

  2. We need to learn how to be completely selfless... We need to learn how to put another person before ourselves and to consider their needs more than our own. We recently wrote on this issue here.

    ...however this doesn't mean we let people walk all over us. A healthy relationship learns give and take. A completely unbalanced relationship tat is all about just one person is not healthy. It is not selfish to express needs and expectations within your own relationship.

  3. De-emphasize the physical stuff. Our bodies are hard wired neurologically and physiologically to progress through a pattern of deeper and deeper connection. Our physical connection is supposed to be the deepest and most intimate. Our culture however likes to put this first and doing so can actually damage our ability to connect in the most healthy way.

  4. Keep faith first. We both have wondered over and over again how anyone makes it in a relationship with Christ in their lives. Points one and two are almost near impossible without Him in your life. Prayer and connection on a spiritual level helps keep your relationship pointed in the right direction.

  5. Remember the holymess... Relationships take work and obviously that's the underlying theme of our entire blog. Just because there is a fight, disagreement or difficult season in your relationship doesn't mean you should end it right away. As we say all the time, it's the messy and difficult things in our lives that actually lead us to holiness.

    ...however, sometimes breaking up is the most healthy thing to do. Part of the point of dating is to assess how much work a relationship would be to maintain and then making the decision about whether you are up for it or not. Ending a relationship just because it's hard is not a good reason but abuse, lives going in two different directions, a different set of morals or other things are good reasons to end a relationship.
Jake and Melissa

If you want to check out the video or audio version of this info, click the links below:


  1. Knowledge giving Article! I appreciate you. I completely agree with you. If we talk about current scenario then it is must be update. I enjoyed reading. I would like to visit more for more queries.

  2. Maintaining a healthy relationship is not an easy job! A healthy dating relationship varies depending on the individuals. In general, a healthy dating relationship should make both parties feel comfortable and happy.

  3. Generally couples can have different hobbies and interests but they need to have enough shared joys to make their time together rich and fulfilling,so basically healthy relationship make a good bonding between each other.

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  4. I every time spent my half an hour to read this blog’s posts daily along with a mug of coffee.

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Our goal of this blog is to share stories (both good and bad), thoughts and insights about our marriage and we would love for you to jump into the conversation.

The goal is to provide three things:
1) HOPE for struggling couples that they are not alone.
2) GROWTH in our marriages and our understanding of marriage.
3) ENCOURAGEMENT to keep loving your spouse unconditionally.