Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Four Questions to Ask About Dating BEFORE You Do It

When it comes to dating, there are SO MANY different opinions out there about it. Why should we date? What's the purpose? How old should we be to start dating? The questions go on and on...and you get different answers depending on who you ask them.

In January, as Jake kicks off the New Year with the students in our church, he launched a series on Dating, Marriage and Sex! It's one of his favorites to go through with students. However, students aren't the only ones asking the questions above. Young adults, and even those are older, are asking them as well.

As he goes through the series, we thought we would post the sermons on our site for your benefit as well. Even though the audience is middle school and high school students, the talks easily apply to those who are older. Honestly, some of Jake's leaders and some other adults who hang with the students from time to time really got a lot out of it.

So, talk number one begins the conversation about dating: what can we learn from the Bible about dating and how do we know if we should get involved in a relationship or not? Our opinion is that it's not about a certain maturity, a certain age or a specific life stage. Instead, it's about learning to be wise about our relationships and asking four different questions BEFORE you get involved.

In case you don't want to listen to the whole sermon, here is the quick synopsis:

1. Have you both talked to God? When we look to God for guidance and confirmation, He will provide it given time and patience. Prayer is a powerful thing and asking God to guide you both as you consider dating, will most likely help both people to be on the same page about moving forward into a relationship or not.

2. Have you talked to yourself? This question has to do with understanding why you want to be in a relationship. If you’re not looking to serve and give to the other person, it may be a good idea to wait on dating. Love requires sacrifice and unselfishness. It’s ok to feel like you might not be able to give to anyone right now. It’s also ok to feel like you’re mature and ready. Either way, take some time and self-reflect before dating someone.

3. Have you talked to others? God has put friends, parents, and others in our lives to provide insight and wisdom. If you are thinking about a romantic relationship, talk to a friend, a trusted adult or your parents for advice. All these people will have your best interest at heart. They might see a positive or negative about your potential relationship that you don’t. Having the blessing and support of those closest to you will help your relationship be strong.

4. Have you talked to him/her? Maybe that sounds a little obvious, but it’s important. If you aren’t both on the same page about what you’re both looking for, there will be hurt feelings and issues to work through pretty quickly.

We'd LOVE to hear any comments, disagreements or ideas of your own after listening! Just post them below.

Jake and Melissa


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Our goal of this blog is to share stories (both good and bad), thoughts and insights about our marriage and we would love for you to jump into the conversation.

The goal is to provide three things:
1) HOPE for struggling couples that they are not alone.
2) GROWTH in our marriages and our understanding of marriage.
3) ENCOURAGEMENT to keep loving your spouse unconditionally.