Thursday, July 1, 2010

Empowering Women

Can ya'll tell that Jake is gone for the week? I have all this extra time for introspection! I guarantee he's going to get back and say something like, "Babe! What the heck is with all the blogs?"

Well since I have more time to be inside my own head than normal (and normal is quite a lot for an introvert like me) and because I woke up at 4am this morning worrying about apartment hunting for my mom.....I read a blog on Relevant Magazine Online that was talking about being a single woman and society's expectations for women. Now, the blog was rather confusing in that I couldn't tell exactly what stance the author was taking...but it provoked some good 4am musing about a topic I am very passionate about.

This topic is important to half of married people are women. Here's the things I can't get my brain around. Throughout history women were seen as lesser than men, we couldn't vote, hold property, speak up even. Our role was to be an obedient wife and produce offspring. We were not expected to hold down a job, the men took care of things. We minded the household and did womanly things like sew and stuff.

Now society has flipped almost to the other extreme and women are expected to have a career, support themselves...and usually it's expected on top of being a wife and a mother. Single women find themselves older and older as sexual practices in society change as well. Men don't need to get married to get laid....both men and women can find satisfaction without a marriage commitment.

I find that stay-at-home moms almost have the stigma of being lazy...which is so far from the case! I also find that a woman without career aspirations is looked down on and that single woman are desperately trying to talk themselves into believing they are empowered and more than happy all on their own.

My soul cries out for some flipping balance! I am so happy to live in an age where woman can climb the corporate ladder and vote and be treated as the equals God created us to be. But I can't stand that we all have to fit into one kind of mold. What if I don't want a career? What if I really enjoy keeping house and eventually staying home with my kids?
What if you're 25 and you really want a husband? Should you have to feel bad about that? Isn't that ok?

All I'm saying is that society ends up shaping how women view themselves and what we think is expected of us. But I'd like to see more woman get in touch with who God created them to be as unique individuals. I think we'd see much more of us peaceful, better wives, better mothers, and better people overall.

I know I am super blessed to have a husband who supports that I am a free spirit, non 9-5er, creative, thinker, introvert, listener, writer, artist, hopefully mother at some point, OCD cleaner, gardener, grocery shopper, thrifty to a fault, dreamer. But I think lots of our husbands, boyfriends, brothers, dads....would be supportive if we women became more empowered to find who we are and who God created each of us to be regardless of what society and other people think about it.


  1. Wow, amen to that! I have had deep thoughts on this exact issue in the past 5 days...especially living as a full-time female musician and constantly being around guys all the time. It's a weird existence with societal demands that have recently become increasingly uncomfortable!

  2. Good thoughts.

    On the one hand, I'm glad I live in a society where I don't have to feel like a loser just because I haven't gotten married yet. I'm glad I'm in good company. I'm glad I can hold a decent job that I like. I'm glad that I am happy and enjoying my life right now.

    It's just that a career is not all that interesting to me. I want kids. I want a family. And I wish I didn't have to feel like a loser for admitting that.

    Or, good heavens, less spiritual for wanting that.

  3. I wish we women could all get rid of the guilt of wanting what we want. I feel like we struggle so much with how to fit who we are into these molds. And when we don't fit the molds, we feel so less than. Less spiritual, less intellectual, less goal oriented, or too goal oriented, too busy, too intellectual. It's so great for me to remember that God created us all maybe not all our lives should look the same! - Melissa


Our goal of this blog is to share stories (both good and bad), thoughts and insights about our marriage and we would love for you to jump into the conversation.

The goal is to provide three things:
1) HOPE for struggling couples that they are not alone.
2) GROWTH in our marriages and our understanding of marriage.
3) ENCOURAGEMENT to keep loving your spouse unconditionally.