Tuesday, June 29, 2010


I feel like any sort of success, even at the smallest level, is like a hungry beast that can never be fed enough. Once you achieve what you're striving for, you often find it's not quite as great as you thought it would be. Suddenly, a new goal appears before you...a better one...one with more promise of success and fulfillment. Now there is something new to strive for. Or else the next effort falls flat and earlier success now feels empty in light of the present failure. The beast always craves more from you.

It leaves me feeling at a loss...and very much less than. How do I truly break free? Where is the line between worldly wisdom and following God's voice? What if God's voice does not lead towards success?

How does this all relate to marriage? I've been feeling like so much of our world and every day life is based on being successful. You have to be successful spiritually, in your job, monetarily, and in relationships. I don't know if any one else out there is like me though....I often am not successful. And I don't know how to feel about that...mostly I feel like crap about that to be honest.

So much emphasis is put on having a successful marriage. But what does successful marriage mean? So much of my marriage is trial and error...mainly error..and trying to learn from error. It can feel so deflating to be in the midst of problems or issues and look around and see every other happy married couple. It feels like they have attained the success I crave....and my husband and I are just alone in our un-successfulness.

I've been sitting with my heavy heart though and letting God speak to me about it. And I feel like He has been whispering that none of us are truly a success...we're all works in progress and so are all of our marriages. It made me feel better to think about God loving me just exactly where I am....no matter how successful I am at some things...or un-successful I am at others.
I feel like a successful marriage is one where love, forgiveness, and commitment are present...and maybe I can learn to be happy with just that. Thanks God :)

1 comment:

  1. Great stuff Melissa---thank you! Having just celebrated 30 years of marriage, your final comment is RIGHT on target---A BIG amen to what you said--all the rest is just "details".


Our goal of this blog is to share stories (both good and bad), thoughts and insights about our marriage and we would love for you to jump into the conversation.

The goal is to provide three things:
1) HOPE for struggling couples that they are not alone.
2) GROWTH in our marriages and our understanding of marriage.
3) ENCOURAGEMENT to keep loving your spouse unconditionally.