Thursday, May 20, 2010

Let Other People Get to Know You

So I've been thinking. I was talking to a wonderful woman the other day who was telling me how much this blog has meant to her. She actually started crying and told me that if someone had talked to her about marriage like the way our blog does, maybe her marriage would have survived.

Then Jake and I noticed that we got a ton of readers from Google when we title blogs with generic relationship issues like "Tips for Understanding Men." Which means that many people out there are google-ing for help with their relationships.

I also had a rough weekend with the husband. It was just one of those (thankfully rare) weekends where the whole 2 days was a fight. It's always emotionally draining to have those and by the end of it I admit I was thinking, "I just don't feel like doing this anymore. I just don't see how we can work this issue out." There were lots of things I could have done to reach out and get help with our issue. I could have read a blog, a book, a magazine, gone on the internet and googled it, or posted a status on Facebook and hoped people would write back nice things to make me feel better.

But that's not what I did. I called two close friends who knew Jake and I really well. These were friends I could trust to listen, sympathize, and give me good advice. It really helped and made me feel much better and like things could work out just fine.

It's easy with all the technology we have today and how busy and demanding our lives are to forget how important it is to foster intimate relationships. Close friendships are one of the best and "feel goodest" places where we can turn to for help when we need it.

When you can talk face to face with people, it helps you to not feel so alone. And to help each other.

It takes courage to open up to someone in real life about your struggles. Really opening up about anything personal is hard. It's much easier to get e-feedback via Facebook, Twitter, texts, blogs, and so-forth because there is very little room for rejection. The e-world doesn't hurt your feelings so much. But risking someone hurting your feelings or not understanding you is far better in the long run than never having someone understand you. It's really worth it to have a friend to talk to when you feel hopeless, or hurt, or you just need love, or a swift kick in the pants.

I hope that our blog is a spring board for helping people actually go and talk to their spouses about marriage. And I hope it helps you feel like it's ok to begin to open up to other people and let them in. Try being really honest this week with someone, and see what happens. Talk to someone new. Chances are, they are dying to talk to you as well and might have just the right thing to say. :)


  1. You are an encouragement to me, friend. You both are far from us by miles on a road, but your willingness to be open with your marriage issues... you remain close to my heart and a challenge to our marriage relationship. We do hope to see y'all next time you're in the area.

  2. aw! Thanks liz...yeah, we would love to see you guys the next time we're up. My mom is wanting to move to the North I might be up soon helping her look for houses. I hear you have some great kiddos!! -luv Melis


Our goal of this blog is to share stories (both good and bad), thoughts and insights about our marriage and we would love for you to jump into the conversation.

The goal is to provide three things:
1) HOPE for struggling couples that they are not alone.
2) GROWTH in our marriages and our understanding of marriage.
3) ENCOURAGEMENT to keep loving your spouse unconditionally.