Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Flaws And All

inadequacy: defecit, shortage, shortfall - the property of being an amount by which something is less than expected or required;

In life we all fall short of expectations. There is no getting around it. What life expects from us, what our job expects from us, what our spouses expect of us, no matter who we are, we all fall short.

In my own life, I often fall short of even my own expectations. I expect myself to be an equal earner in my marriage...but the reality is; my job pays far less right now than my husband's job. I don't meet my own and also society's expectations of success. I don't meet my expectations of a wife. My idea of a good wife was one that would have children and produce a family. Right now, as we struggle with infertility, I fall short of the ideal. I also feel that I don't meet the expectations of what people call beautiful. I struggle with a condition that means my body and nerves are constantly on a "flight or fight" response to my surroundings. It means that I can't wear the clothes I want, or expect to be able to handle temperature changes, or do many things that most take for granted. This leaves me feeling like a failure as a wife, as a woman, and as a person.

One of the amazing things that God has created in marriage is a redemption of all our human shortcomings. Yes, marriage is a place where we see our faults more clearly and are challenged to change for the better. But marriage is also a place where we also find the love, acceptance, and affirmation that we all need so much. I am constantly amazed at the fact that Jake loves me, despite how I think that I fail to measure up to all the women that he could have chosen. It's amazing that God created this holy place called marriage, where we can all be affirmed as unique and wonderful creations of God no matter our faults. Truly, marriage is a reflection of God's love for us. I cannot imagine the awe and joy I will feel when I meet God in heaven and He shows me, even more than Jake can show me, how much I am loved, even though I am not perfect, even though I will never measure up.

How much God must love us all, to give us an institution like marriage (as hard as it is sometimes!) to illustrate how love should be. How we all should treat each other; how we should accept each other, flaws and all....as lovely, wonderful, unique, special creations of God.

Thank you Jake for loving me....flaws and all.

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Our goal of this blog is to share stories (both good and bad), thoughts and insights about our marriage and we would love for you to jump into the conversation.

The goal is to provide three things:
1) HOPE for struggling couples that they are not alone.
2) GROWTH in our marriages and our understanding of marriage.
3) ENCOURAGEMENT to keep loving your spouse unconditionally.