Friday, October 9, 2009


"Please tell me.....why are we.... trying so hard?
Why worry, it's over,
We always fall right back to where we start.

There goes another on of our sure fire plans,
It backfired again." - Mute Math

"Lukewarm people are continually concerned with playing it safe; they are slaves to the god of self control. This focus on safe living keeps them from sacrificing and risking for God." - Frances Chan

I like to be safe. I like to be in control. I like things to go well. I don't like living in the tension that is following God. It's a tension between the wisdom of the world : money, cars, houses, success, career, 401K, dental insurance, life insurance, happiness, wishy-washy morals, secure job, social standing, and the wisdom of God: trust, reliance, faith, sacrifice, calling, commitment, grief, morality, endurance, truth, peace, giving.

In life, in marriage, it is easy to fall into the easiness. Right? It's easy to hoard, it's easy to control, it's easy to manipulate, it's easy to be selfish, it's easy to focus on all the things in our lives that don't really matter in terms of eternity.

Why do we try so hard? Because the alternative is so a life devoted to God. Have a marriage where both partners are radically committed to Christ and each other.

It means change. Big change. It means being uncomfortable. God will call you to be uncomfortable. He will call you to be unselfish towards your spouse. He will call you to make some sort of uncomfortable financial decision. He will call you to trust Him with your heart, your dreams, your goals, your aspirations. Many times He will gently but firmly say, "No. These are the plans I have for you." Usually the plans He has for us are not the ones we had for ourselves.

How do you figure it out? I don't know. God is a mystery. We all wish He was a bit less mysterious sometimes. But He's not...He's God and well....we won't ever be able to figure Him out completely.

All these carefully laid plans I have devised...they are nothing. All these selfish desires I have...God will turn them into His will and goodness. All the things I want out of marriage...He will smash those ideals and have me search my heart....and it will be so much better than I ever imagined.

Hope. Trust. Follow.....follow Him. No matter what He asks you to do today. If it's to smile at someone you don't it. If it's asking your spouse what they want to do it. If it's realizing God is calling you on a different career it.

I am realizing how short the time we have is. It's worth it to lay aside being safe...and following the one who will keep me more safe than I could ever dream of.

(Not totally marriage ya'll...but it's been on my heart...thanks for reading - Melissa)

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Our goal of this blog is to share stories (both good and bad), thoughts and insights about our marriage and we would love for you to jump into the conversation.

The goal is to provide three things:
1) HOPE for struggling couples that they are not alone.
2) GROWTH in our marriages and our understanding of marriage.
3) ENCOURAGEMENT to keep loving your spouse unconditionally.