Wednesday, September 23, 2009

My thoughts the past couple of weeks

My mind has been all over the place the last couple of weeks. I feel like Jake and I have just been getting slammed...with enough business, heath problems, and just life drive us nuts. I feel like all I hear is more bad news from friends getting sick, struggling, work problems and so forth. So to all the people struggling right now...I send out my prayers that your situations will get better and that God will comfort you.

In the midst of struggle I keep feeling like this one particular topic just keeps coming up. It's the topic of how we as women (yes Melissa is writing and Jake is not having an identity crisis)...we woman have all these needs, desires, expectations, and longings. You all know what I'm talking about. You read Twilight too, you secretly love Taylor Swift, and sneak in chick flicks while your husband or boyfriend is away. I'll tell you the end of the Twilight movie I was thinking, "I wish a vampire would look at ME that way!"

We want to be adored. We want to be cherished. We want to be desired. We want to be taken care of (not just money..I'm not getting all 50's, but there are emotional things to be taken care of as well). We want a strong man. We want to feel loved. We want to feel like we are enough. There is a passage in a book, I can't remember the name, but it says, "I feel like I am always too much, and never enough, all at the same time." We DON'T want to feel that way. We want to feel like we are always enough, just right. That we are the perfect fit. That once we find the right man, our cares and worries and problems will disappear. Once we're married we hope to never feel lonely, never feel rejected, or the last on the list of priorities.

Here's the rub. It's not possible. The movies lie. The romance novels lie...and God bless her teenage beautiful innocent heart..Taylor Swift lies. There really isn't a happy ending...because no matter who we marry...they will hurt us, disappoint us, mistreat us, not take care of us, make the wrong decision, and decide they're too tired for sex tonight. I don't care who you are...some of that will happen to you at some point or another in your marriage or relationship.

So do we become bitter? Angry? Disillusioned? "To be accepted and loved just as we are - isn't that what we all long for? To be welcomed into anther's life without pretense or falsehoods- isn't that what we really want?"- Neue

The answer is Jesus Christ...God...The Holy Spirit...

God is the perfect man...He ADORES us....He cherishes every part of our tender little hearts...he loves every good thing about you and every bad thing about you. When man fails...then Christ steps will never feel lonely with him..he never leaves. He will take care of you better than any husband, better than any father...He is the ultimate father and husband. He won't ever reject us, we are always desirable to him. He always wants us....think about that. He always wants to be with you, spend time with you, love you, hear your thoughts, hear your feelings, help you, protect you, he longs for you. He is what a woman's heart was designed for. He can fill it up.

I am learning this. Because my husband is not God. He makes lots of mistakes that hurt me and leave my woman's heart longing for more. Another person would have been no different. All husbands fail because they are human...and maybe we women put too many expectations on them....maybe we read too many romance novels and have too many lofty ideas about what love should be. Maybe I should train my eyes on Jesus' heart and his love for me and then learn to have realistic expectations from my husband.

Just my thoughts.....

1 comment:

  1. Thanks. I'm encouraged by your post...similar thoughts have been going through my heart and head lately to because, of course, my hubby is not God either and my heart also, was designed for a perfect, personal relationship. Us women, we are relational to the core. And only Jesus can fill that longing and that need. Thank you Thank you Thank you for sharing!


Our goal of this blog is to share stories (both good and bad), thoughts and insights about our marriage and we would love for you to jump into the conversation.

The goal is to provide three things:
1) HOPE for struggling couples that they are not alone.
2) GROWTH in our marriages and our understanding of marriage.
3) ENCOURAGEMENT to keep loving your spouse unconditionally.